i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it's like iHOP with fire
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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