at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize