I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
