K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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