Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
