I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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