I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
