if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
