somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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