I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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