dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
