Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
