she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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