I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
