My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
