sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
