Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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