Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
