your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The maid of honor just puked.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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