i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
