i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
barbara walters just said penis...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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