This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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