their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
