it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
