please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
