you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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