I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't deserve a penis
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
