my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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