I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize