I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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