I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
