i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
