So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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