So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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