Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize