Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
