Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
