that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
