oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
