he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
