Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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