her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize