I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
