i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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