I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
