Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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