I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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