In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
