Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
