then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can't turn off my feet"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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