just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
