my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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