This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
