Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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