Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
smell my finger.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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