he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
