I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
