Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im holly from the hills drunk
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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