Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
