so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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