I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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