the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
