Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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