I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
