You can't special order awesome
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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